high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

holligenet:

If you are driving a vehicle…

use your turn signal

Use your turn signal

Use your turn signal

USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL

USE YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING TURN SIGNAL

IT’S NOT JUST A RANDOM OOOOOoOoOoOO WHAT DIS DO, DIS FLIPPER SWITCH STICK THINGY WAT A NEAT CAR DECORATION

duragdaddy:

flvcoshvlom:

ellecareyart:

2brwngrls:

simplysupreme:

image

HERE FOR THIS

young.black.educated.confident. i don’t see a thug here. at all.

"I’m better at life than you."

yessssssss woo

turntechstridercest:

jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle:

doctorrivaille:

rapunzelie:

sb5ive:

rapunzelie:

new undies: cute
stretchmarks: also cute

No no no and NO stretch marks are never cute!! wtf too lazy to go get some cocoa butter and use it daily? We all have stretch marks but we can get rid of it.. People should take care of themselves and if cocoa butter didnt work for you make an appointment for a laser stretch mark removal dont be a lazy ass

hey quick question: what’s your fuckin damage

all stretch marks are beautiful no exceptions 

  1. stretch marks are perfectly fine and natural and beautiful, free lightning bolt tattoos yo
  2. cocoa butter is a preventative that does not always work, and smells and stains clothes and oh yeah, since a lot of people get stretch marks just from growing NOT from weight, theyd have to slather their whole body and no one really wants to do that or smell like that so strongly.
  3. laser treatment? really? you want people to pay $1000+/appt (usually takes a few treatments) to get rid of something perfectly natural because you’ve named yourself standard of the fucking world and think we all live to please you? most people dont have that money and if they do thats not what they want to spend it on.
  4. also fuck you.

I usually don’t reblog ladies in undies, but for real. Don’t fuckin’ knock people over stretchmarks, or anything on their bodies for that matter. I’ve been underweight all my life and have them from growing. They happen. The just do. 

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

ashisasunshine:

I’m just saying if any of you want to send me some band merch I wouldn’t exactly oppose

katefuckingwinslet:

Requested by Anon | Finding Neverland (2004)

I will always remember how happy she looked, sitting there in the parlor, watching a play about her family. About her boys that never grew up. She went to Neverland.

Doctor Who Series 8 (August 2014)

setharooni:

my senior quote was better than yours

My social life has two moods: Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy. 

There is no in between

charlesdutton:

i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cool

wilsontoyourhouse:

thepostmodernpottercompendium:

Children. They were teaching children

Rowena, Godric, Salazar; they tended to forget that. They saw young minds, young acolytes - eyes that would look up to them. Not innocence. Not childish wonder.

Toughen them, said Godric.

Make them smart, said Rowena.

And ambitious, above all, said Salazar.

But war and the real world; that was not where children belonged. Aye, they would belong one day, but it was not their part to turn them cruel, make them hard, make their eyes dart sideways always looking for ways to twist the world to further their own ends. They were to protect them. Shield them from the worst so that some good, some kindness would find its way into an ever darkening world. To give them weapons and teach them how to use them, but never tell them that those weapons were their only hope.

She’d seen in all the battles she’d rode out to just how dark the world could be. Was it not their duty to bring light into this world? To fight darkness with light; not with more darkness - with divisiveness and strife and hatred?

I will take them all, she said. 

I will protect the ones you will not. I will save them. I will give them a home. They will be the last rays of all that is good in this world. I will teach them kindness. I will teach them loyalty. I will teach them selflessness.

I will teach them how to be the backbone, the heart of this world. I will teach them how to stand steadfast, when all hope is lost. 

I will teach them how to be human, to be more than just one single word.

No, she knew, theirs would not be an easy path, or a glorious one. They would have no songs. No great tales in books. No laurels. No consolation, no thanks.

But they would be the reason why, when the darkness finally came, all of them in all their different colours would stand shoulder to shoulder and draw their wands as brothers in arms.

Not for achievements. Not for trophies. Not for power.

For goodness. For hope.

And when the time came for them to choose the words that would forever guide the children that would come to them, Helga smiled and engraved, upon a bronze plaque, these words:

Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.

(But her students remembered a very different set of words. Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.)

(Helga Hufflepuff requested by boney-eyes-jefferson)

#and this my friends is why no one is quite sure what a hufflepuff really is#the answer is: everyone #they come in a million different shapes and sizes#they could be braver than gryffindors #and more cunning and more ambitious than slytherins #even smarter than ravenclaws #but they all come to hufflepuff #and there learn to be loyal and fair and goodhearted #and that quite possibly #is why hufflepuff has hardly any dark witches and wizards #because they have learnt how to be the very last line of defence #before chaos takes over the world #and thisTHIS is the sleeping dragon you do not tickle #because if they can’t protect the earth you can be damned well sure they’ll avenge it #look i gave myself hufflepuff feels

puralize:

you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly

HW